Dispute History

about "A Suitable Boy" by Vikram Seth

Exhibit 1

Message 19 on BARF - 1,474 - oh boy - by Holger

Hey, I can't help getting the impression that Branko is proposing a 'no life'-lifestyle for the next month - not just for himself (as usual ;-), but also for us.
I just read some reviews about our next book 'A Suitable Boy':

"Well, sure, it took me a good month to read it, ..."
"One would assume a novel of 1,474 pages would be able to tell the reader something about life in India, ..."

I'm afraid that even if I start reading early this time, I'll have a hard time finishing it again (as opposed to our new member, who probably will have finished the book by this Sunday - assuming she gets the book not later than Friday).

Well, at least - on the good side of things - I can blame it on Branko, since he finally chose it, right? :-)

- Happy reading.

Exhibit 2

Message 20 on BARF by Paul

And you guys didn't want to read the 700-page "Lolita"!

If we took 4 hours to discuss 800 pages it will take us 7 hours to discuss 1400.

In addition to dinner, Soyeba and Sonya should prepare lunch and a snack, plus set aside an area for napping between sessions.

Exhibit 3

Message 21 on BARF - by Branko

Well I didn't quite know that the book in question has 1400+ pages. I knew that we'll read "Lolita" bookclub or no bookclub...

This is why we meet on Saturday. We start with the dinner, discuss the book, and have a brunch together the next day!

If we succeed with this book, we can take any other book as well!

Exhibit 4

May 24, 1999: Paul's News Report on High Court Decision after a council meeting the day before

FREMONT, California (Reuters) - Last night the justices of the High Court, Ahmed, Antelmann, and Schaaf, overturned a lower-court ruling by Justice Branko Peteh that members of Bay Area Reading Fans, or BARF, be forced to read "A Suitable Boy", a 1700-page book. Mandated in its place is the relatively shorter "Lost In Translation", first runner-up in the competition.

Justice Soyeba Ahmed authored the unanimous decision, which was harshly critical of the lower court. "Selection of a 1700 page book is cruel and unusual punishment. . . . [Peteh] has clearly overstepped his authority." Referring to the independent counsel that has been appointed to investigate, Ahmed said "rest assured if this proves to be anything more than simple incompetence Mr. Peteh will be dealt with harshly."

Peteh was unavailable for comment.

Appealing for reconciliation Justice Paul Schaaf urged all BARF members to destroy their copies of "A Suitable Boy", in favor of "Translation". "Let us close this ugly chapter of our lives," he said.

Exhibit 5

May 24, 1999 - the defendant's (Branko's) reaction

Mutiny!

>From our special correspondent in FREMONT, CA.

In what appears to be a cunning politically motivated cup, the course of history was about to be changed yet again! Overstepping their authority, the unofficial members of of so called BARF High Court, tried to overrule a decision made on previous regular and the ONLY legitimate forum achieved by tie breaking vote of vice-president Peteh. "This clearly is mutiny", said Peteh, "and will be dealt with accordingly! Once a decision is made it is cast in stone, and the members are expected to adhere to it."

It is not clear how this will affect the workings of BARF, but one thing is sure: nothing will be the same as before. Stay tuned for more news, that we will bring to you, as they unfold!

Exhibit 6

May 24, 1999 - Paul's Evening News report on Petehs Rejection of the Rejection

FREMONT, California (Reuters) - In a highly unusual move Justice Branko Peteh publicly denounced the overturning of his verdict last evening. Referring to the High Court Justices as "mutinous", Peteh declared the decision "a cunning politically motivated cup".

"It is most assuredly not a 'cup'", a suprised Justice Paul Schaaf said in a written statement issued later in the day. "Perhaps Peteh should pay closer attention to his pharmacist's instructions".

In a hastily-called press conference, Justice Holger Antelmann encouraged leniency for Peteh. "This is a tragic turn of events. The general public does not appreciate the pressures we [jurists] face", he said. "[Peteh] should be shown the sympathy he obviously deserves".

This brawl comes at an inopportune time for the Bay Area Reading Fans. In its short history the members have weathered some storms, including unruly behavior and a recent reading strike. "The club will survive," Justice Soyeba Ahmed said, "...but right now BARF just makes me sick."

Exhibit 7

May 25, 1999 - Branko's Morning News Report on the International Escalation

AP Fremont, CA -- HINA, Zagreb, Croatia

The recent local happening becomes an international scandal!

In an unprecedented move, Justice Schaaf, with apparent support of a few other BARF High Court Justices, tried to derail the workings of the local book club. Little did they know that their little scheme, masqueraded under the pretense of members not being able to read a large book, will gain international attention, and become a true international scandal! Namely, after considerate dollar investment ($9.49), Justice Peteh had announced the title of the next book to his Mom, who in turn is sure to go to the library and borrow the book, thus making a commitment to read it too! Now changing the book in the mid stream, outside the legitimate forums, this will surely cause confusion and disbelief as to what the real intentions of the book club are. Given the international nature of things, and the current book reading situation in the world (first, second and third), the utmost caution is in order. Our special correspondent form Croatia reports that due to the time difference the news hasn't made the headlines yet. But surely some people, who watch CNN and BBC, have already heard about it. No demonstrations of support have been noticed.

Exhibit 8

May 25, 1999 - Paul's Evening News Report on the International Crisis

FREMONT, California (Reuters) - The White House announced that early this morning a blockade was instituted against Croatia. "Forcing people to read such a large book is a crime that cannot be ignored," said a spokesman. "It is in the best interest of the international community that 'A Suitable Boy' not be permitted to enter the designated safe zone."

This comes on the heels of today's announcement by Croatian strongman Branko Peteh that all citizens "make a commitment to read it" and "demonstrate their support" against the international High Court.

A Croatian blockade would require "5 or 6 healthy men and women, perhaps fewer if they are armed", estimates former Joint Chiefs of Staff Chairman Gen. Colin Powell. But, as a White House source confessed, "first we need to find the place".

Republican critics fear escalation. "Today 6 men, tomorrow a half-dozen. Where will it end?" asked former VP and presidential candidate Dan Quayle.

In the meantime, Peteh is reportedly working on a book of his own: a monster 10,000 page autobiography that the state-run news service lists as "required reading". "They thought India would be boring" says a highly placed government source. "They haven't heard from Croatia!"

Exhibit 9

In an interview with Vikram Seth in the radio later, it was mentioned that 'A Suitable Boy' is one of the longest single pieces of English literature - wow.
Now, what about the Indian dinner?

Return to the main dispute page

© Holger Antelmann 1997-2005
  [home] [contents] [about this site] [contact info]